Be Happy

 "Mommy, be happy."

Orelia says this to me.  A lot.

 I got some advice from our preschool teacher last year to explain how you're feeling to your child as a method of trying to get them to behave.  It actually works pretty well for Orelia because she has always been pretty attuned to people's emotions.

 Nowadays I often just give her my disapproving look and she says "You're not happy."

"No, I'm not happy," I say, as I look at her standing on the coffee table or putting one of Bennett's pacifiers in her mouth.

 "Mommy, be happy," she pleads.

 There is a back and forth about what will make me happy and how her actions have made me sad.  Often we "make up" with her giving me a hug or being funny in some way where I can't help but smile and give up my mad facade.

 The reality is, however, that while I may not be my happiest when she's smirking at me and driving me crazy, I am happy.  Very happy.

 I'm so lucky and blessed and fortunate and grateful that I get to spend my days with my two little munchkins.

I'm happier in this job than I ever was at another.

I'm happier now than when I was a student and often without a care or real purpose.

 Kids breathe such a life into you, and I'm so grateful for mine.

I may miss a handful of things from my old life, but, for me, doing what I'm doing is what makes me happy.

So don't tell Orelia, but Mommy is actually happy.

(Photos by Kristin Dokoza)