Trying Harder

Last week I was on a luxurious vacation.  A vacation where I stayed at home but my parents were visiting as well as my brother and sister-in-law.

 For a stay-at-home mom, this is the greatest gift.  Four extra sets of hands to entertain Orelia, hold Bennett, make dinner, fold laundry, and do dishes.  It was so relaxing and fun.

The party's over and all our extra hands are gone.  It's just me and the two kids this week (until John gets home), and both Bennett and Orelia are feeling the effects.

The past two days have been parenting lows for me - days filled with raised voices, threats of punishment, eye rolling, and general disappointment for everyone.

Orelia has been on her worst behavior, no doubt triggered by my lack of patience and understanding as well as her disappointment by not receiving the same attention she received last week.

Last week was amazing.  Bennett got lots of cuddles from Uncle David and Orelia spent countless hours doing her Goodnight Moon puzzle with Aunt Kathi.  Orelia read books with Grandpa and Bennett went for walks with Noni.

This week has been rocky.  Instead of making sarcastic "mother of the year" jokes like I might on another occasion, I am owning up to a bad couple of days, and I vow to try harder tomorrow.  Rather than sighing when Orelia asked to be picked up, I will be grateful she wants me to hold her.  And when she is disobeying me, I will try to redirect her to another activity without taking her actions as a personal affront.  My back will be sore from holding Bennett while bending over to pick up markers dropped and to velcro shoes into place.  It takes a lot of work to hold your tongue when you're angry and to enthusiastically play when you're exhausted, but tomorrow I will try harder because my kids deserve more than what I've been giving them.  I'm grateful that I have tomorrow with them to try harder.